it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
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he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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