Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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