So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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