That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
