I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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