I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
