Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
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sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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