Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
