I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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