so let's talk penis.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
