I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
