hotel room ftw
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
