marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
