just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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