are you so shy because you have an std?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
