We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
