I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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