Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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