Your mouth is God's brothel.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
