we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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