you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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