hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
