I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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