problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
