Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
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I intend to get homeless drunk
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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