i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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