hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
