Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
