What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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