we have officially lost it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you didnt know i had herpes?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
