either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
