Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
