I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize