You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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