Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
