K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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