All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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