I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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