She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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