The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
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Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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