ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
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Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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