i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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