i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
