I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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