"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
