I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
