Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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