Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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