real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
