I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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