Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
