That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
