The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
being pregnant is like rehab
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
