Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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