FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
